There’s a particular kind of wisdom that only comes with time. Having seen cycles repeat themselves. Having made mistakes and learned from them. Having watched what works and what doesn’t over decades. Having experienced failure and recovery. Having lived through change and discovered what endures.
That wisdom is disappearing. Not because older people aren’t wise anymore. But because we’ve organised our lives so that generations barely interact. Young people work with other young people. Older people retire and are absent. The natural transfer of wisdom that happened for millennia no longer happens naturally. We’ve structured it out of society.
I know of a family business in London where the founder and the next generation were in conflict. Different ways of doing things. Different values. Different pace. The founder wanted to preserve what had taken decades to build. The next generation wanted to innovate and move faster.
But when they created space to actually talk, something shifted. The founder shared stories of decisions that had gone wrong, lessons learned through time, perspective on what actually lasts. The next generation listened. Not to agree. But to understand the roots of the founder’s thinking. To understand what experiences had shaped her values and her caution.
They still disagreed on many things. But they understood each other. And that understanding changed how they could work together.
Erik Erikson’s research on human development describes generativity as a core developmental task for older adults. It’s the drive to invest in the next generation. To contribute to the world in a way that lasts beyond yourself. To know that you’ve helped build the future.
Erikson found that this generativity is not optional for psychological wellbeing. It’s fundamental. In his theory, the failure to develop generativity leads to stagnation and despair. People need to feel that they have something to give. That they’re still valuable. That the wisdom they’ve accumulated has meaning.
But generativity requires opportunity. A young person who’s willing to receive. A relational context where wisdom can be shared. An environment that says: Your experience matters. Your perspective is valuable. We want to learn from you.
Erikson writes: The strength acquired in one stage is tested by the necessity to transcend it in such a way that the individual can take, with appropriate strength, the next step… In psychoanalytic terms, this is the foundation of the stage of generativity.
In Kenyan organisations, I’ve noticed that the informal mentoring that happens between older and younger leaders is often richer than the formal programmes. It’s because it’s relational. Someone respected takes an interest. The learning happens through real conversation. Through stories. Through the older person sharing perspective and the younger person asking questions.
What we need is more of this. More intentional spaces where generations connect. Where older people have permission to share wisdom. Where younger people have permission to receive it. Where it’s not a one-way transmission but a genuine exchange where both are changed.
This doesn’t mean younger people should defer to age or older people should control the future. It means both generations bring something. And that intersection creates something neither could alone. The older generation brings perspective and wisdom. The younger generation brings innovation and energy. Together, they create cultures that are both rooted and evolving.
If you’re leading an organisation or family, consider this: Are you creating space for cross-generational mentoring? Are older people empowered to invest in younger people? Are younger people positioned to learn from experience?
That small shift creates cultures where wisdom transfers. Where people feel invested in and understood. Where both generations feel like they belong. Where the older people aren’t pushed out but pulled in. Where the younger people aren’t left to figure it out alone but have elders invested in their becoming. (Erikson, 1950; So et al., 2026; Villar et al., 2023).
The Wisdom That Only Comes With Time
