Introduction:
Parents Shape Values
Looking back, I can see how my parents’ values shaped me. I grew up in a family where discipline was essential. I lived with my parents for 18 years, then another 6 years while I was at university and doing national service in Nigeria.
During those first 18 years, my parents’ values greatly impacted me. I was often corrected, sometimes physically, when I did something wrong. This included things like disobeying, taking things without asking, not doing my schoolwork, fighting with my siblings, or being messy. I got a lot of scolding and even some beatings. No parent can witness this and not be concerned about the future outcome. This explains why I went through various disciplines.
I happened to be an intelligent student and often got good grades. But when I showed my parents my report card, they did not celebrate my achievements as much as they punished my bad behaviour. This went on for 18 years.
As I got older, I realised these experiences affected me more than I thought. It felt like there were bigger consequences for my mistakes than rewards for my successes. I started to believe that I was not good enough and that I couldn’t achieve great things in life. This made me less confident and afraid to take risks.
Things changed when I met Dr. Sam Adeyemi and Dr. Nike Adeyemi. After spending time with them, I realised I needed to change. I was holding myself back from reaching my full potential. So, I decided to re-evaluate my life:
1. My social circle: I looked at the people I was spending time with. I noticed I was surrounded by mostly people who lacked confidence and did not believe in themselves as well.
2. My talents: I figured out what I was good at and how I could use my talents to help others. I realised I love to help people and also love writing.
3. My purpose: I thought about what I wanted to achieve in life. This part opened my eyes to see my roles in the family life space and making a huge impact on organisational productivity and profitability at the consultant level globally.
4. The need for growth: I realised I needed to keep learning and growing because the day one stops learning is the day one starts dying intellectually.
I am sharing my story because I know other people would have also been affected by negative experiences and beliefs.
Reflecting on Your Own Experiences:
1. What values were important in your family? How did your parents teach you those values?
2. Do you have any beliefs or behaviors now that come from the values you were raised with? Are these positive or negative?
3. What values are most important to you today? Are they different from the ones you learned growing up?
4. If you are a parent, how do you want to teach your children values? What lessons have you learned from your upbringing?
Share your experiences for us to learn together. Your story might help other parents and teenagers.
(To be continued…)
