Leaders often carry the weight of their teams and families, making them particularly vulnerable to hurts and disappointments. When expectations aren’t met or trust is broken, these emotions can be intense. Yet, leaders must learn to navigate these challenges, as their responses significantly impact their teams and organizations.
A Case in Point:
Consider the experience of a lecturer leading a module with a team of 18 instructors. The success of the module hinges on their collective effort. While some team members consistently excel, others require additional guidance and support. This dynamic can evoke a mix of emotions, from gratitude to frustration and even anger.
Managing these emotions and ensuring the module’s ongoing success requires a strategic approach, one that can be applied not only in educational settings but also in organizational and family contexts.
Some of the practical ways to go about this are seen in the following section.
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings:
Leaders must recognize and accept the full scope of their emotions. Suppressing anger, disappointment, or pain does not make them disappear; it only hinders effective leadership at work or home. Self-awareness is key to emotional intelligence. When you honestly acknowledge your feelings, you lay the groundwork for authentic leadership and build trust with your team or family members.
2. Communicate Openly and Constructively:
Clear communication is essential for resolving conflicts and rebuilding trust. When addressing unmet expectations, avoid venting. Instead, articulate your expectations clearly, using specific examples to highlight the discrepancy between what was expected and what transpired.
Engage in a dialogue to uncover the root causes of the issue. Were expectations unclear, resources insufficient, or other obstacles present? Understanding the underlying reasons opens the door to finding solutions and preventing similar disappointments in the future. Seeking to understand would always be better than seeking to judge.
3. Set Clear Expectations and Provide Support:
Even with clear communication, misunderstandings can occur. When setting expectations, establish a feedback loop where team members feel comfortable asking questions and seeking clarification. This fosters a supportive environment where everyone understands their roles and responsibilities.
Evaluate whether your family, team or organisation has a culture of open feedback and readily available support. When expectations aren’t met, it is vital to reassess whether your team possesses the necessary information, resources, and systems to succeed. This proactive approach empowers your team to monitor their progress, identify areas for improvement, and ultimately achieve their objectives.
Reflecting and Learning:
As a leader, taking time to reflect on your experiences with disappointment is invaluable. Consider instances where expectations were unmet (within a family, team or organizational context).
How did you handle those situations?
Could you have approached them differently?
Share and let’s learn together.
